Dance class taught me that finding balance is all about feeling where one is centered and steady then imagining an imaginary cord that runs the length of that center; through the core and out the top of the head where it is held steady by the great beyond.

As a child the gymnastics coach advised us to squeeze our bottoms, to tighten the core to maintain that center.
The key was to in being able to sense the center, to understand where it weakened and to strengthen the core that surrounds it.

I had such difficulty feeling these things, I wanted to know where my center was, instead of trusting myself to feel it, I wanted someone to tell me what to tighten, where the string was tethered and exactly how to hold myself in order to maintain my balance.
I watched others balance themselves, tried to emulate and wobbled around barely holding my ground much of the time.

Summer allows wobble time that allows me to feel my base. It's rooted deeply in the knowledge that I am trustworthy and true to my instincts even when I worry I've strayed or that I'm off base, I bounce back on the power of my unique and capable balast.

Guilt, self doubt, shame and regret are dead weight and I've learned that with persistence and placing my energy in doing rather than thinking is the only way to shed unattractive and unhealthy burdens.

I am centered in my ability to love and my willingness to be loved.

I am centered in my willingness to let go of blame and regret and to embrace the opportunities instead of the lost causes.

I am centered in ability to be true and honest and to accept what may come as a result.

I am centered in my belief that there is only peace in embracing ambiguity and abandoning expectation.

Beyond the mantra I am trying to follow my own advice to show and not tell.

I'm headed to the Island in a couple of days. The boys will meet me there in a couple of weeks.

I am not going to plant seeds for the future, or to erase any hard won lessons of the past.

I am going to be in the moments that unfold, to remain open to opportunities to stengthen my core and to help my boys find their own center.

I am going to love and be loved
as is.