It's very difficult keeping the boys in my lower level English Class on task. I'm not much of a gamer and Literature and Writing don't lend themselves to a wide choice of physical hands on activities. I started class playing an online interactive game, but the boys all put their heads down until I pulled out the nerf ball and told them they could only answer the questions if they could make the shot into the trash bucket (over which I have a nerf hoop). They were all over it at that point. But.. this can't be done every day.

I'm having the same struggles with my boys, A and E and as you know it has me chasing my tail to exhaustion.

When I got home last night E was in the shower. I thought it was a bit strange for him, but didn't really think much about it.

I planned to make him a special pizza, one that he'd seen on food network program and commented that it looked "hella tasty." No sooner had I started cooking before he started complaining about how hungry he was and that the Pizza better be good, and "don't put bbq sauce on it, gross..." I've been trying to make all this awful boy friendly food even sending some to them when they are at their dads so they have some homemade food, but E always has a complaint. His grandmother, the ex's mom, cooks with bacon grease and breads everything- or his dad takes him out to high end fast food places. How is a mom to compete with fast food and bacon?

I noticed that E was sunburned, and again, I didn't think much about it...I was hopeful that he had gone for a bike ride with his dad. We spent some time with small talk and banter before things went sour. I asked him why he wasn't at the after-school program that he is supposed to attend on Wednesdays and somehow that segwayed into his need to take the more expensive drivers ed course and that he I have failed him in failing to purchase a car for him. ("all of my friend's parents bought them cars...")

You know where it went from there. I let him push all the wrong buttons until he loosed a gasket and then I lost it. Of course, he was clear about his desire to be at his fathers...

Then the accidental confession that he skipped school that day to attend the senior skip day.

I find myself telling him to go ahead and live with his father if that is where he will succeed, I threatened to pull financial support and told him I'm happy to let him work it out with his Dad. He fires back with the "you don't do anything for me...I have a job and I support myself..." He does buy a lot of his own clothes. His grandmother gives him money every week as well. He doesn't understand the cost of the ADHD meds, the braces, the acne meds, the food, the enrollment, the water bill for the epic showers and laundry load, the internet connection, the mortgage, gas to drive him to work, the dental bill, the contact lens'...under wear, socks, t-shirts shoes....

His father does put a roof over his head and feeds him every other weekend and on Monday and Tuesday nights- That I will grant him, but he doesn't pay for anything beyond this. The boy pays for the greater part his father's cell phone bill.

I have a mean streak when pushed to my limit and the grown up who knows better yells and says mean things. In the past I have slapped the boy, and of course that was used by my ex as a way justify whatever it is he needs to justify.

I've felt terrible guilt about this kind of loss of control. That said, I know that while it is not appropriate, it was not at the level of any heavy consequential child abuse.

It is all rinse wash and repeat. I don't know how to best handle this. Any time I assert authority, he rebels. He literally tells me he will do what he wants and then does it. I can't physically stop him from walking out the door, and there is no consequence I can enforce. I feel like I've no choice but to send him to his father's....but once there he will flounder further with no rules, no consequences, and no expectations unless my son's behavior inconvenience his father.

It's a catch 22 and I'm left stunned and bruised every time.

The Boy is currently failing all of his core classes. In addition he has two core classes he must make up from last year. He doesn't understand that as a Junior, this means he will likely fail to graduate with his classmates. He has run out of time.

And yet, if you ask him he plans to get his bachelors at a small, less expensive university and then get an MFA in International Finance at some Higher level institution.

How do you make the connection to one who is so disconnected from his own reality.

I was never a great student, I can empathize with procrastination and dragging the feet, but I knew to play the game I knew how to get by.

I see this attitude in students from time to time, and it is a hopeless feeling when you can't reach a child and help them to see reality with clear vision.

Having my own child in this position has me feeling so very desperate. My one hope it that he will learn all these hard lessons as a teen and be spared from this behavior as an adult.