From the Beginning- As I Remember

She was annoyed. Spirals of telephone cord snaked in a coil on the floor in a tangle around my legs as she pried my hands from her calf and pushed me off of her feet. She rubbed at the wet tear stains on her turquoise Capri's and the pitch of her voice tightened. The space between my fingers ached for want of the satin ribbons that she was tearing from the edges of my blanket, the same cool satin that I spent the greater part of my days weaving in and out of my chubby digits while I sucked my thumb. The calm that washed over me when I found this combination was soft and warm; my ballast. I choked on sobs until I threw myself face first to the linoleum floor, exhausted and soothed by the waxy cool. She was talking about me. I watched her face sharpen when my thumb found my mouth and my fingers worked at twisting my hair into knots. Her lip curled and her glare burned through blue cat eye glasses. Shame planted like a seed deep in the center of my chest.