When I'm not working, running the boy who proves I can't be all bad here and there, when I'm not locked in the grips of a major attack of po angry piteous me, I'm watching TV.
Damn if I don't binge on my faves. Mad Men is driving me mad in the waiting for the next episode. I download this one online.
Then there's Net flix watch instantly The IT crowd which I prove my self a glutton and I'm left wanting more,
so my the not rejecting me seed, A has introduced me to The Mighty Boosh.
There are TV shows, 30 rock, the office and sometimes those csi shows that are so bad I watch for the opportunity to make snarky commentary to the walls.
It's mind numbing,
maybe we can call this meditation.
maybe not.
The real world hurts too much.
ze My eldest twin son is lost in his pain and I can't find a way to reach him. Every therapist is too geeky, every attempt to rationalize is lost. worry that there is a genetic issue at work that I will not be able to mend.
My youngest twin is sweet, lazy and flunking classes again.
I'm here doing my best to encourage,
to discipline,
to be what a good parent should be....
The beau has had enough. I don't blame him. He was all too much the same; controlling, angry, and uneducated. But, I don't say that without affection, he was great company and sex took me outta my head.
Sex gets me outta my head.
I will miss it.
I watched the stupid show Cougar and to my disgust I could totally relate to the protagonist except in the fact that her life was less fucked up than mine. Also, I'm not hot mammy like Courtney Cox.
My daddy, cried today. He wants to see me and the boys more often, he can't remember the boys.
so I stand by my last post and let me throw my fit. Life is not good here.
not for me.
depression happens because depressing things happen.
That said. I am taking a my meds again.
any relief is better than none.
1 year ago
3 comments:
Oh, lu.
Lu, not trying to tell you what to do but it sure sounds like your meds aren't working. It's very common for adjustments to be made as to dose or type as the body adjusts to them. Your in the middle of a hurricane. Bite the bullet and see the Doc.
much luck
My guess is that will is right. If you haven't checked in for a meds tweak in awhile, you may be overdue.
Otherwise, keep doing whatever one step or one piece at a time that you can (or, yes, _should_; the time critical stuff, the health and safety items) and try not to digest the entire world in one sitting. I still think your persistence will pay off.
Catch ya in the Inboxes, awright?
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