I have enough to be ashamed for all the wanting.

It's not for things I long, but for some intangible ability to live free without reigns.

I fall in love with people who live unbridled.

but me, I am the bridle.

Therapy tells me that I am wrong to shoulder the unwelcome drama in my life.

I'm told to cut myself some slack, that sometimes there is a victim and I am one.

but it's of no comfort.

"If you could do anything right now what would that be?"
This is what the therapist one, two, three, and four ask me.

"I would run away"

"Where would you go?"

"I don't know."

"would you go alone?"

"I would go to...."

"who would you go to?"

"someone else."

"what is someone else like?"

"I will know when I meet him."

"It's not enough to be alone?"

"That is death."

"to be alone?"

"have you ever been alone?"

"No."

"I am."