I like to teach what I don't know.

I don't pretend to know, that is for first year teachers and, well, rotten teachers.

Awe, hell, I don't know, maybe I am a rotten teacher.

maybe not.

Probably not.

It's just that there is so much to learn, and it's such fun sussing it out with friends.

The way it works is that I have a base of prior knowledge, so I share that. It usually takes place in discussions, I pull up YouTube, PowerPoint and the like, but without formal presentation. They usually don't get that I'm talking to them-each of them personally, that I'm really just wanting them to see this cool thing I found--hey, look what i found on You Tube, or a friend just sent me this e-mail with this link... or "this song makes me think of ...." I love the net. I can work on the spot, it becomes conversation, not lecture, Share and share alike. Then I start putting the kids to work, helping me to build on what I already know. I use them as my assistants, we become partners. We throw out trials, we make errors, we give it another go.

Days I teach like this are wildfire.

Then there are days like today, when I can't get focused, when I've too much weight and the synapse are not firing.

Oh, there were moments--moments when I showed clips from Jesus Son to Creative Writers so we could look at Camera work.

The worst moment of the day was when Jalen said "I love worksheets" after I handed him one because I was too lazy to teach him today.

Ironically, this was probably the best way to teach him. It's active, it's doable, it is a task completed with little thought. When he finished he was certain of his accomplishment and it was done, no need to think further about it. Punch the clock.

Wax on
Wax off

I was too lazy to run today or go to the Y. Anxious.
I'm hungry, but if I eat more... Anxious.

I don't think This is a good time to let alone the meds;
not yet.

So, I didn't get to the Gym or out to run.
I'll do a set of floor things that count.
I won't miss tomorrow.
I didn't fight or nag the boys before they went to their father's.
I did a couple loads of laundry.
I learned to play Horse feathers "Curs in the Weeds" on my guitar.
I worked at a new song that I'm struggling with.

I know someone who was thinking about me and smiling today.
He might be thinking and smiling right now.
I was thinking about him and smiling too.
I'm thinking and smiling right now.

Sometimes when I think about him my stomach does that thing that happens when you sit at the back of the school bus and ride fast down hills, or when you jump just before an elevator stops.

I like that feeling.